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ENCORE: The Pursuit of Happiness in the Second Half of Life
...by Dr. Ann Thomas
As we age we become more aware of the importance of happiness. Our founding fathers recognized that this emotion
was important when they wrote that we were guaranteed the right to the pursuit of happiness. But happiness, it turns
out, is a slippery prize, most often showing-up as a by-product when we're busy doing something else. While there
isn't just one "something else" that will lure happiness into our lives, there are some guidelines recommended by
experts.
- Pursue your values. A value is a belief we consider part of our moral outlook on life. Pursuing your
values often leads to situations needing action. The actress Audrey Hepburn understood this when, in spite
of battling a terminal illness, she turned her love of children into the development of a fund to help
suffering children around the world. Like Ms. Hepburn, when we become involved with what we consider
important, happiness seems to show up.
- Do something you've postponed. Careers and families have kept most of us busy but now it's possible to try
something we've always wanted to do. Anna Mary Robertson was too busy to paint until she was seventy. Once she
started, she found painting made her happy and she painted until her death at 101. We know her best as Grandma
Moses. It's important for all of us to find our own postponed interests, creativity and talent. We will find
satisfaction and who knows? A few of us may even find fame.
- Connect with others. We're created as social beings, designed to be part of the human family but it's easy
to become isolated as we age. While we may need others, it is equally true that others need us and that from
connection grows happiness. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "The only way to have a friend is to be one." When we
connect with others, something inside resonates and it is that resonating that has been called the music of life.
- Make lemonade. We've all heard that if we're given lemons we should make lemonade and there are examples
all around us of people who are enriching their own and other's lives by doing just that. We all have encountered
problems. The musician Duke Ellington said, "A problem is a chance for you to do your best" and it is that
action that opens the door to happiness.
- Be yourself. This is perhaps the most surprising guideline for finding happiness but, ultimately, the most
important. During a lifetime there are many pressures on us to play roles but happiness results when we feel
free to accept and be who we truly are. There is a story of a Rabbi named Zusha who once said, "When I die,
God will not say to me, Zusha, why were you not Moses? Instead, God will say to me, Zusha, why were you not
Zusha?" To be happy we must be who we truly are, and know that we are indeed acceptable.
Our founding fathers, in their wisdom, knew there was no way to guarantee happiness but instead that
happiness was a possibility for those who knew how it could be pursued. We know that it is best
pursued through these other channels, allowing happiness to find and reward us.
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Dr. Ann G. Thomas is a psychotherapist, an educator, a storyteller, a writer, and a grandmother.
Her most recent release is The Women We Become: Myths, Folktales, and Stories About Growing Older (Volcano Press).
For more information, visit www.Dr-AnnThomas.com.
www.dr-annthomas.com
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Feed Your Passion
...by Teresa Verde
It is said that in Beethoven's later years, his hands were so crippled with arthritic pain that he
could barely move them. Yet each morning when playing the piano his hands transformed, as though by magic,
flying nimbly and freely across the keyboard.
Feeding your passion can do that. We forget the aches, pains and limitations while we're lost in doing what
we love. Time flies and our spirit soars. We become energized and invigorated beyond our years.
Having a passionate pursuit gets us out of bed in the morning. It gets us through the rough spots and gives
balance to our life.
There are endless things to be passionate about: creative outlets such as drawing, painting or quilting; being
a collector of things as unique as antique dolls or as common as rubber stamps…you'll always be on the lookout
for that next delightful item. Our passions can be everyday activities such as cooking or gardening or even
just walking. We can have passion for the people we love, our career or a volunteer activity.
We can bring passion to whatever we do - it's all in our attitude and how we approach life. Don't let obstacles
get in the way of your passions. If you're a book lover, yet your eyesight is diminished, listen to books on
tape. Sometimes a handicap or setback is an opportunity to find a completely new passion, to explore and
discover parts of ourselves we didn't know were there. I became a writer when I began having mobility issues.
The days I had trouble walking used to be very depressing. Now when I can't walk, I write. In the process
I realized what a passion I have for writing!
If you don't have a passion, develop one. Experiment and be open to trying new things. Put yourself in a
rich environment and you'll find something that makes your spirit soar. The 13th century poet Rumi said
"Let yourself be drawn by the silent pull of what you really love."
Your passion will add years to your life, keeping you alert and alive, awakening every cell in your body.
Life Perspectives
New Car Smell & Other Scents of Autumn
...by W.E. Reinka
* 1959 Ford, courtesy of Ford Motor Company
Ah autumn. Falling leaves, jack o'lanterns, and car buying.
Car buying?
When I was a kid, my dad always bought cars in the fall, working a clearance deal on last year's models as
new models flooded the showrooms.
However nostalgia may cloud our memories, indisputably automobiles are better-made now than then. When I
was growing up, most car loans ran 36 months which is about how long the cars ran. Dad would stretch built-in
obsolescence another twelve to eighteen months. One time he left his trade-in running outside the car
dealership for fear that he might not get the car started again if he turned off the engine.
Anything built after 1990 looks like a Honda to me. But walking to Garfield School, our neighborhood pack could
identify every car's make and year. I can still spot a '56 DeSoto at fifty paces. We turned new model spotting
into an autumn ritual. "Man, did you see the grill on the new Buick Special?"
I remember when I first spotted the totally-redesigned 1958 Chevy. It was white with blue interior. What a beaut.
But I knew a '58 Chevy would never sit in front of our house. Dad was a Ford man. Later in life after the kids
had flown the nest he bought a couple of Oldsmobiles and even a Chrysler New Yorker. But when we were kids he
drove Fords on Shell gasoline.
Dad slogged through those years as a junior manager with a stay-at-home wife, three kids, and night school
twice a week. Car payments were part of life's struggle. Forget car radios-a radio meant another month's
payment. Money that might have gone to white walls went to piano lessons instead.
Then came 1959. Dad's career took a jump. In what may have been the last time in his life that he put the
clutch down, he coaxed the '54 Ford into the dealership and came home with not just a new car but a
top-of-the-line Ford Fairlane 500 Galaxy. White walls, power steering, power brakes, automatic transmission,
and AM radio. The trunk looked like an empty swimming pool and its V-8 could have pinch hit for the local
power plant. Four doors meant no more climbing over Mom's seat. The Galaxy was a rich, almost metallic,
bronze that contrasted beautifully with the whitewalls. Man it looked sharp then and if you spot one at a car
show, you'll see it still does. No wonder it was named "The World's Most Beautifully Proportioned Car" at the
Brussels World Fair.
The leap to air conditioning came with the '63 Mercury as Dad continued to scale the automobile hierarchy.
Add cruise control with the sporty but lemony'67 Mercury that even Dad would dump after two years.
(Lemon or not, put wings on that car and it would fly.) Eventually Dad pretty much had all the accoutrements
that mattered to him. But they were all minor compared to 1959-his "BC/AD" year in car-buying when he cruised
home in that Galaxy.
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W.E. Reinka may be reached at
wereinka@ix.netcom.com
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